Absentee Blogging

Well, with my last post I broke two of my very own blog records. The first was my all time high number of comments. That’s right, 16 baby! And that’s not including me adding my own comments to your comments; it’s a solid 16. Not that I’m counting, of course. I blog for myself…of course…

And the second record was the extremely long period of time that I left that rather pathetic/complaining post up there. But I have a reason, which I probably should have mentioned earlier when I had the chance. Sam and I are away. Hubby is studying for the Bar and is taking the test early next week. So Sam and I decided to escape before he went all Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" on us. Since Thursday we have been in the lovely Blue Ridge Mountains visiting my parents.

I had big plans to write a sarcastic and ridiculous post documenting a horrible airline experience, but much to my dismay the trip was great. This was the second time that I have flown with Sam by myself, the first one being that lovely trip we took from Chicago to Philadelphia for the move. You remember that, the time I had to drag the car seat through the airport with absolutely no assistance and then install it into 2 different seats on the plane because the flight attendant made me move just before take off? Yeah, we all remember that trip.

My little cherub was perfect, though. I believe the key to my success was that I arranged to be moved so that there was an empty seat next to me, imperative to the happiness of all. Of course, that didn’t stop all of the people in the vicinity of our seats to moan and murmur, “Oh crap” to each other as Sam and I approached. But then Sam was awesome, the snacks mommy brought were awesome, the secret toys mommy had hidden for a week and saved for the plane ride were awesome, and no one had a leg to stand on. By the end of the flight Sam was still happy and started waving to everybody, who, now that the flight was over and they saw they would not be bothered by a screaming baby, were happy to wave and smile back. Seriously, when a mom gets though a flight with so little disturbance to those around her, I think she deserves applause at the end. When I stood up with him to get off the plane it was all I could do to not turn around and bow, waiting for their ovation for my totally AWESOME MOMNESS. I did get in trouble though. We had a fasten seat belt sign on because of some turbulence (nothing like clutching your child on the bumpiest plane ride you’ve ever been on). When I thought it was done I put Sam back down in the empty seat next to me and immediately the flight attendant came on the intercom with: “Will the lady with the lap child please be sure to hold the child in her lap?!” I blushed like a 6th grader getting busted passing a note. People actually turned around to look at us.

As soon as we stepped off the plane I pretty much checked out. I’d been fighting a cold since Tuesday and after the flight it pretty much took hold (the air sickness from the turbulence certainly didn't help), leaving me in a snotty funk and so very glad to be with parents who could take care of Sam while I wallowed around feeling sorry for myself. Hubby and I weren’t sure we’d made the right decision as this trip approached. I felt I was abandoning him in his time of need, despite the detailed meal plan I wrote out for him. And when lone air travel with a child looms in the future, it’s hard to not second guess one’s decision. But once I started getting sick it was clear we had done the right thing. Now Hubby could study in peace, sans needy baby and sick wife, and not feel bad about how much time he needed to spend working. And like I said, I’ve checked out. Today my mom asked what I wanted Sam to have for lunch, a question that normally would be met with a detailed menu incorporating just the right balance of vegetables, grains, and fruits. I believe my response was something along the lines of, “I dunno. Whatever you want.” Yeah, absentee mommy here.

So the blogging and the commenting may continue to be a little sparse until next week. Then Sam and I come home for 2 days and we all go on a celebrate-the-end-of-the-Bar-beach-extravaganza, where I am not sure we will have internet access - oh, the horror.

In the meantime though, I am totally convinced that the flight home is going to be horrendous. In my experience so far, if one flight goes well, the other one fully deserves to be feared with every fiber of one’s being, and I am fearing it. I’m convinced we will not have an empty seat next to us and Sam will be forced to sit on my lap for the entire 2 hours. From the short time he had to stay on my lap on the flight out, I learned that trying that for any period longer than 15 minutes would not be wise. So what are your suggestions for entertaining a baby on one’s lap on an airplane? I didn’t buy him a seat because of all the trouble we had on that trip that must not be named with the car seat, but now I’m really wishing I’d sprung for the promise of a seat for Sam. Any suggestions? And don’t even try to suggest that I try and get him to go to sleep unless you are also recommending that I inject him with horse tranquilizers, because there’s no way it’s going to work any other way.