Exhibit A
Just in case there is any question about whether or not the parks around here are tuly devoid of mommies, I'll provide some proof. Here are some pics of a recent trip that Sam and I took. Do you see anyone else? Didn't think so.
To entertain himself, because you can only swing for so long, and slide the car down the slide for so long, and stare at Mommy for so long, he decided to clean things up a bit. I won't tell you how long he spent crawling around looking for acorns (and one twig), but I think you'll get the picture. Find an acorn, hold it up to show Mommy excaiming, "ichsh," ("this"?), hand it to Mommy who throws it over the fence, move on to the next acorn as Mommy tries to stop baby from scraping up his little knees.
And now you know how we spend our days. Unfortunately we may have many more like this. Yesterday was our first playgroup with "the club" (and yes, I was kidding about the various duct tape items I was meant to bring - that was my little hazing joke. Sorry it didn't come across in the writing) and I'm a little worried. Let's just say between Sam's screaming and sobbing because he was scared to death of one of the other babies that kept screaming at him, it was kind of hard to get involved in the various conversations about flashcards for babies and which gym classes would be better to accelerate motor development...oh yeah, and which preschools would start taking kids as early as 18 months. I know, I'm being a snob, and I'm supposed to be all about refraining from judgment of other moms because we all need support and motherhood is our common bond and blah blah blah, but I am also not exaggerating - these were the topics covered, the very ones I JUST took issue with in a very recent post.
And I don't know if it was so much that I was judging them, because seriously I was just trying to soothe my sobbing son who has NEVER cried like that, or if I just felt really out of place so now I'm lashing out. Regardless, I think it was Kate who used the term "kindred spirit" recently; I'm pretty sure mine wasn't there. It probably doesn't help matters that I was dressed like an adolescent boy. I had just decided I was going to be myself since if I had to put on a little show I wouldn't really end up being friends with the people there anyway. Meeting people who are "like you" when "you" are a really liberal and fairly crunchy mom disguised as a 9th grade skater is hard. There's another playgroup tomorrow. I'll try again.
posted by beth @ 12:46 PM
8 Comments:
Flashcards? Hopefully, the kindred spirit wil show up tomorrow.
I can understand where you are coming from COMPLETELY! I do hope your kindred spirit shows up soon.
I'm sorry that the first meeting didn't go too well! I hope the next one is better and that Sam has a better time!
Don't give up--persistence WILL pay off! And Sam will soon be the life of the party, I'm sure. Well, at least the playgroup. :-)
That's really too bad Beth, give it a couple more tries. It would be hard to focus if Sam was having a hard time. And hey, maybe another new mom or someone who didn't make it this time will come to the next meeting!
Sam is so very cute, I love that he was tidying up the park :)
i'm so bummed to hear it didn't go well for you. i have to hand it to you, though, you ARE persistent. i think i stopped trying for a long time because i felt like i'd never find anyone "like me." i don't want to talk about pre-school at 18 mos. or flash cards or have a mom try to "offer" my kid some of her kid's M&Ms and then have to have the uncomfortable, "we don't let him eat that stuff" talk, which inevitabley feels like a judgement.
but, i guess if you don't try you won't find a kindred mom.
you're setting a good example for this mom who's being a weenie about "getting out there."
go you!
You sound lonely. I feel for you and am wishing you the best. I hope the next meeting goes much better.
I have been at a few La Leche League meeting when A has been, um... grumpy. It is very hard to concentrate when your baby is crying especially when it's been provoked by another child.
Our neighbors little boy is two months older than A and we went out on a lunch date earlier this week. The kids were playing and the little boy found the plastic tools. First he clonked her in the head with a hammer. After I calmed her down and got her to go and play again he poked her in the eye with the (plastic) screwdriver, twice in a row! Poor thing. I felt bad because I knew my friend felt terrible about it and I tried to be 'cool' but I'm not sure I was convincing. I would have blogged about this but in the event that she happened to read the post and feel bad, I thought better of it. Blah.
Anyway, I am sure the mama group will get better. Sam will be having a better day and there is bound to be some mama there eventually that you will click with.
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