Workin' Out

So I went ahead and joined that gym with the childcare that I mentioned last week. I thought for just a few days a week Sam and I should have a little time away from each other, and the idea of getting to listen to some music while walking or do a yoga class was just way too tempting. I was only slightly worried about how he might respond to being left with strangers. I mentioned before that we've never left him with anyone other than family, but he's always been fine when I've gone away. I have no idea why. Mommy leaves less than an hour after Grammy and Grampy arrive - fine. Daddy tries to put him to bed with no Mommy - definitely not fine.

I wasn't sure exactly what to expect upon leaving him the first time, especially since it would be in a new place, and I was nervous. But when I walked him into the room he struggled to get free so that he could run over to the car toys (big shocker). I had to walk up to him and touch him to get his attention to let him know I was leaving for a bit, in case he turned around and all of a sudden I was gone. Yeah right, like he cared. There were cars, different cars, cars that were exponentially better than any cars that I could ever buy for him ever. He didn't care that I left and hardly cared when I returned. I checked in periodically to look through the window and make sure he was ok. Once he was pushing a car back and forth with another girl about his age. Once he was playing peek-a-boo with another kid under the slide. Once all the kids were doing something in the corner and then they all ran, herd-like through the rest of the room. I made sure he couldn't see me through the window in case it might upset him, but frankly I don't think it would have mattered. He was having a good time...without me.

I was about to start talking there about how torn I am and how deep down I wish he missed me and couldn't get on without me, but that's not really true. I was so proud of him. He's a little independent boy who can play with other kids and run in the herd. And I'm really happy that he can have fun with new people in new places. I'd like to take credit for his adaptability but I realize it's really not mine to take.

When I came to get him he wanted to show me all the great things in the room (ie. cars, a toy airplane, the play kitchen, the slide...and cars). One of the women said he'd been dancing for them a bit and that he'd been great, even laughed at her some. He's gone twice now and both times had the same response. He loves it, and then I go through the rest of the day feeling like I havn't gotten to see him at all because I walked on a tread mill for 30 minutes. Could he talk he'd probably be telling me to go to the gym, where it is more fun and far more exciting.