The Red Bull (not the drink)

I’m at a loss. We’ve been in Philadelphia about 3 weeks now, including the week of no furniture. I’ve been working pretty hard to find activities to do with Sam, and it’s not working out the way I thought it would. Before moving here I envisioned finding play groups at recreation centers, talking to people at story times at various bookstores, and meeting other mommies at the park in our complex and at the pool. But instead, I am being thwarted. Seriously.

I’ve been working for weeks on this and just nothing is working out. The rec centers are literally not at the address that is listed and no one answers the phone, no bookstore within 30 minutes of us hosts a story time and the libraries are taking a break for summer reading, and the parks! The parks are devoid of mommies. Forget about the one in our complex; it’s lead poisoning/swing-crash-down-if-any-weight-is-put-on-it waiting to happen. I can see why it’s totally empty all the time. The pool is beautiful but totally freezing and therefore, also empty. Not to mention the fact that my visions of other moms walking around with their strollers in our little gated community disintegrated when I realized that 80% of the residents here are above the age of 70. And so we drive to other parks, beautiful parks…where we are the only living souls in sight. Are there no young mommies left in this city?

I sort of feel like the Last Unicorn, which was my all time favorite childhood movie. In the beginning the unicorn asks herself why she has not seen any other unicorns for so long, and so she goes on a quest to find them, learning along the way that the Red Bull rounded them all up and drove them into the ocean where they stay for the greedy and pathetic King Haggard to watch them. Anyway…where is this ocean? I just don’t know where the mommies are. Every day Sam and I set forth on our quest (cue music a la America here) to find other mommies and babies and come up with nada. I feel like they are all hiding somewhere around here whispering about me and laughing as I walk right by, oblivious and perplexed. And here my own self-conciousness comes into play.

It’s scary to make new friends. It was difficult in school where everyone else was looking for friends. As an adult it is much harder because so many people are already set: they’ve got their playdates, their mommy groups, the pals who were pregnant at the same time they were. They’re booked and not interested in meeting the new kid. I don’t know – is that true? Or is it just my new kid syndrome coming back to haunt me? It doesn’t even matter because I can’t find anyone to shun me anyway. How does one find potential friends? I did it when first moved to Chicago, but I was going to work. Now I do my work at home and with Sam; I’m a SAHM with Sam, hardy har.

And the problem is two-fold. Yes, I have no friends and that makes me very sad and discouraged. But Sam and I are bored to tears! I am not nearly as creative in the fun and leisure activities as I’d expected. What do you do with a 13 month old all day? And bear in mind we are broke, and often do not have the car at our disposal.

I’m just at a loss here. And I joke and draw stretched analogies between myself and a fantastical creature, but I really am sad. And lonely. I miss at least having the option of seeing a friend occasionally, or even talking to a stranger at the playground wondering if we’ll run into each other again. What do mommies do? And where do they go? If you were a Philadelphia mommy, where would you be hiding? Would you be happy to meet a new kid, or is your dance card full?