Friday, August 18, 2006

Phase Two - Who's Your Daddy?

Tonight we begin Operation Sleep: Phase Two - "We love Daddy too." Let's note the time: 7:54pm. Hubby is in the bedroom with Sam trying his hand at bedtime; our next step is Hubby involvement. Sam is so close to being night weaned; we're on the brink of success. I thought last night would be the night, but then for some reason it was a really bad night. We had one unwanted nursing session. Still, that's pretty good and I'm trying to focus on the good right now as I listen to my son scream as though he's alone in the room...or as though someone is plucking out his eyelashes. What are the neighbors thinking? I have heard many times that when night weaning it is really helpful to have daddy handle the wakings since when mommy does it the child is confused about why mommy won't give him the desired nummies...

It's now 8:48pm. Sam got so upset that he threw up. It was at about 8:02pm when Hubby called me in. Up above I was about to tell you all the really great reasons that we decided this should be the next step - that Sam wouldn't be alone so we'd know he wasn't scared, that it would still break the habit of needing me all night, that it would give me some relief for at least some of the wakings...I guess there's no point in going over those though. I was prepared to sit here and listen to a lot of crying. I was going to make you read my stream of consciousness as I sat and listened. Who knows what wonderful things I would have shared with you to pass the time. But now I am forced to tell you instead that Sam threw up everywhere. When I came in it was all over him, the bed, the carpet, and once I arrived, me. I took him to the bath. He didn't stop screaming until we were naked and in the warm water together. Hubby dealt with the pukey bed situation. I put him to bed and he fell asleep almost instantly. All signs have told me that this is something I have to do myself, with Sam. We're in for the long haul.

I'm not sure what to do here. I'm trying really hard to discriminate between all the things people are saying to me (not that I am judging anyone, just that I am trying to determine what is best for us, just as each of you did what was best for you), what I read, what I hear, and what I feel. I'm trying really hard in general. It would be really nice to have a good night tonight. I just hope that once the weaning is complete the wakings really will go down. Change takes so much work. It's really no wonder this went on so long.



Blogger LynAnne said...

Have confidence in yourself! It sounds like you are doing a excellent job wading through all the advice and choosing what will and won't work for you. You're right, these decisions are never easy.

Also, keep things into perspective - focus on your successes and not the set backs. It will happen and it won’t take forever. In the span of the 18 years (or so) he will sleep in your home, this is only a little blip. Soon you will be demanding he wake up because he went to bed at 2 am and is sleeping late. ;)

11:13 PM  
Blogger Nikkie said...

Go with your gut. You know what works for you and your family the best.

I think you are doing a great job keeping things in perspective.

Hang in there, we are all here pulling for you and Sam!

12:09 AM  
Blogger bon said...

I second the two previous comments... remember YOU ARE THE MAMA... you know what is best for the snoogums.

The "so mad he barfs" bit? Yeah, had me a warrior baby too. They fight with ALL of their hearts, souls and bodies... too bad they cannot yet disciminate what it is they should fight against. Stick with it. These valiant fighter spirits need strong Mama's, and you are that strong Mama.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh, I hope you got some sleep and can wipe off the guilt along with the other messes... Great comments above- Yes. You go, Mama!

3:22 PM  
Anonymous katie said...

I hope it's going better, remember to take care of yourself too!

10:54 PM  
Blogger Cmommy said...

We tried Dr. Ferber's and on...recently, I think he retracted a lot of his own advice--did anyone read that?

Anyway, {hugs} to you all. I have stood in that spot, next to the crib, watching my son be sick from crying because I thought he shouldn't need to nurse at that time. Go with your gut. Tomorrow is another day.

love, C

11:10 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

I agree with Nikki--go with your gut. If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong. It's good to get a lot of perspectives, but in the end, taking everything into consideration, do what feels right in your heart.

I wish you much luck in the coming days. I know it must be tough on everyone. ((hugs))

1:37 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

You are doing great. The sleep thing is really hard, but you'll get there, you can do it.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

Poor little guy. Have faith in him, he'll eventually get there and sleep through the night. Big hug for you all.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Kelli in the Mirror said...

You know, I've read this post a couple of times, just feeling for you as you agonize your way through this. So hard, and you love him so much, and are working so hard to do what's best for your family.
I gotta say though, what sticks out for me in terms of your dedication is getting into the tub with a vomit-covered toddler. Did I read that right? I don't think I could do that, no matter how much I wanted to calm her down, if Gillian got sick.
Kudos to you. :)

7:55 PM  
Blogger Mama D said...

Yes, it does indeed sound like you have a fighter. A is a fighter too only sleep is one of the things that she rarely fights any longer.

I don't want to step on any ones toes but...

I know that you decided that things needed to change because you couldn't go on the way things were.

I can't imagine how hard what you are doing must be. I know you will get through this.

3:48 PM  

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